As I read back over some of the things I wrote while in Kenya, I wonder how that could even be the same person as the one sitting here now. I can honestly say that I’m sickened as I realize how two-faced my human nature can be. How is it possible that I am not completely changed by what I have seen. I should be face down on the ground every day, thanking God that I am not starving, beaten, abused, sick, even mutilated/circumcised. How is it possible that I am living my life in such pampered abundance, doing absolutely nothing about what I have seen. Things are not the same. But what do I even do about that? Where do I go from here? Am I content with just taking this summer as a “learning experience”?

When I got off the plane a month ago, some part of me just wanted to shut out what I had seen. I can tell you that it is very difficult to have so many thoughts but no direction for them, and very few to share with who will TRULY get it. Its easier for me to make myself busy, in order to deal with the difficult stuff later. Maybe never.

It was extremely strange, after two months of virtual isolation from the world I know, to be dropped back into everything so fast. Its was overwhelming to play catch up with everything in my life that had been on “pause” for something I felt was much greater. My thoughts quickly became consumed with the present, the material, and the self-centered. In some ways, I feel like I’ve let people down, saying and experiencing one thing, while acting like a completely different person. Unfortunately for me (us?), actions never lie. So I’m thanking the Holy Spirit for conviction, wisdom, and especially for grace. This isn’t the first time I’ve been completely humbled by the weakness of my flesh, and it won’t be the last.

I may not know the answers, but I don’t want to ignore the questions anymore. I won’t settle for a life of to-do lists just to avoid whats real and sometimes painful. It’s a lot harder for me to fully trust in God here at home, when it seems like I have so much of my own control over things, but His grace allows me to continually give over my life to Him.


“God loves me. I’m not here just to fill a place, just to be a number. He has chosen me for a purpose. I know it.” Mother Theresa

Life at Segera Mission!

Life at Segera

(Written July 2)
Segera Mission is an awesome place that does a lot of great things for a lot of people. It provides a free clinic, school, church, free tap with purified water, support for orphans and malnourished kids, and even some jobs. The clinic itself is the only health care for 40 km in any direction (a big deal when your only transportation is your legs!). Good things are being done here, like immunizing a group of people that would not otherwise receive vaccinations, and providing a safer place to deliver babies.

However, its really hard to see how deep rooted the problems are here. At times, I’m tempted to think that there is no way enough change could occur to even make a dent in all the problems. The people here are extremely isolated and cut off from the rest of the world. With a questionable educational program and absolutely no monetary resources, most of them have extremely limited opportunities for a better life. They have customs and practices that have not changed in thousands of years. They live in tiny huts (you have to crouch to get inside) made of cow dung and sleep on beds made of sticks and hides. These traditional tribal people do frustrating things like drink straight from the contaminated river and rub cow dung on their open wounds. They engage in practices such as circumcision as a rite of passage (for both male and female). They cook their food over an open fire in their small, enclosed huts and rarely (if ever) consume a fruit or vegetable. From a nursing standpoint, their lives are a nightmare!

Due to a lack of understanding, communication barrier, and high respect for tradition, change is extremely difficult to implement. The temptation can easily become one of two things- either an attitude of defeat, or a desire to take on everything, to try to use your own human means (money, knowledge...) to push change onto a resistant people for their own benefit. The latter, while well intentioned and at times very productive, will certainly also produce loads of frustration, exhaustion, and eventual burnout.

I’m realizing that the only possible alternative is to know that these people are not outside of God’s control. Our God in the western world is in fact the same God here in the African bush! He knows these people, their thoughts, and their needs the same way as He knows us. I must constantly remind myself that though the problems here are numerous, God cares for them immensely. This alternative is not the easy way out. It requires continual prayer and submission along with a willing heart and a desire to work hard.

I’ll be honest, there are terrible situations here that make this choice even more of a challenge for me. There are people suffering from starvation, preventable diseases, devastating accidents, and even witchcraft. This week, two and a half year old Jimmy fell head first into the boiling vat of porridge in the school’s kitchen. He is now suffering from second degree burns on 20% of his body. His mom, a single mother of five, had been unable to provide food for the family for the previous 3-4 days, which explains why he wandered into the kitchen in the first place. Stories like this are common, but as Caroline is constantly reminding me, there IS hope. And as the nurse (Christine) firmly states, people here get into dangerous situations because they don’t understand, but God protects them. They do survive against all obstacles. And not only does God love and provide for people like this, He also chooses them for His purposes! “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise: God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and
the things that are not to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.” 1 Corinthians 1: 27-29.

These are just some of my thoughts so far. I truly am loving my time here at Segera, and I am learning so much in the clinic. I work with a nurse on staff at Segera, as well as Caroline and Adam, and we see up to 60-70 patients per day. We help with deliveries, emergencies, wound care, and assessments/treatment of common injuries and illnesses. It’s an amazing experience that I am blessed to be a part of and I’m excited to see what the next 2 and a half weeks have in store!

Kandaria

During our month in Kandaria, we’ve…

Been given Luo names – hiked up the mountain – seen monkeys – picked mangos and tomatoes – watched the cow give birth – shaken many hands – gone to Kisumu – ridden on a boat in Lake Victoria – seen a hippo up close – held many babies – worked in the clinic – weaved baskets with Dani – received Luo lessons from Ogai – taught math in school – learned how to make Kenyan food – made many new friends – fed the baby calf – eaten lots of ugali – experienced radical hospitality and generosity…. 

The list goes on!

We have been so fortunate to be welcomed into such a beautiful family and community.  Before we arrived, I had no idea that the Okongo family would be one of the most beautiful, humble, and hardworking families I have ever met. They have shown us so much love, guidance, and grace in the past weeks that we have begun to see them as family. As this part of our trip comes to a close, I thank God for the amazing experiences we’ve had here and I pray that we will be back again one day.

For the second half of our trip, Caroline and I plan to travel to Segera where we will work in the clinic and do whatever else God calls us to. Segera is a very beautiful but also very desolate place near the base of Mt. Kenya. Many people from the Maasai and Samburu tribes live nearby in clusters of small huts made of sticks and cow dung. The Segera Mission was founded by an American as a place that could aid this struggling community. In the compound is a clinic, church, and a preschool, as well as rooms for staff and volunteers to stay. (See www.segeramission.org for more info)

As we look ahead, we don’t really know what to expect. I am sad to leave the community of Kandaria, but we feel that God has put it on our hearts to spend time in Segera. I am praying for continual guidance from the Lord and an open and willing heart as we step out in faith.  I know that we will encounter many serious needs in this new place, so I am praying that we will not be overwhelmed, but we will stay rooted in truth and understanding. I know that the only way we will have peace about everything we see here is if we keep our eyes on the Lord continually. “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” Colossians 2:6

Please keep us in our prayers as we make the long trip to Segera (meeting up with the Mt Bethel team for a day or two on the way) and adjust yet again to a new place! I don’t know if I will be able to post any more blogs while I’m there but I will try. I am so thankful for all of you and can’t wait to see my friends and family in a month! 

Thoughts

“Don’t get [the Word] down ‘cold’ but let it live, fresh, warm, and vibrant, so that the world is not binding ponderous books about it, but rather it is shackling you for having allowed it to have free course in your life”

Woah!

People are naturally inclined to read God’s word and then confine it to mean one certain thing. God’s word is living. It is able to speak to us in different ways at different times in our lives. In the same way, we love to bind up everything in our lives, structuring it all and striving to have it fit into OUR perfect plan. How unfortunate this is! When we give the Holy Spirit full reign over our lives, and when we allow God’s word to genuinely change our hearts, we encounter a new freedom.

I have been learning that I cannot figure out and structure my whole life in advance. As senior year of nursing school approaches, I know I will be faced with all sorts of questions about what I want to do, where I want to live, etc. I can let this put me into frantic planning mode, or I can choose to be at peace, knowing that God has something specific designed for my life. Although I can be impatient while waiting for His timing, I know that “God’s delay never destroys His purposes” (David Okongo).

Glorifying and enjoying God is a higher priority than maintaining a structured, planned out life.  Our “callings” and the way God guides each of us is unique, which is why it is so vital for us to listen to Him for ourselves. Don’t just follow what other Christian’s are doing (however awesome it may be!). God has something specifically for you!  Ask Him to reveal your dreams, goals, and desires. Let’s live the life God dreamed up for each of us, by seeking Him first. “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms” 1 Peter 4:10. It is not a burden for us when He is the one orchestrating and planning our lives. The frantic planning and stress of uncertainty falls away when we put our trust in God, instead of in ourselves. We know we will have struggles and sacrifices, but He has equipped us for what He has in store for our lives. 

“May the God of peace…equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Jesus Christ” Hebrews 13:20-21. 

Opak Ruoth! (Praise God!) 

Psalm 16

There are no ambulances in Kenya to come get you if there is a problem. There is no emergency number to call if you have a heart attack, get in a car wreck, or if your house is broken into. If you become very sick and don’t have a car, how will you get to the hospital? Will a kind neighbor fasten you to a stretcher and haul you down the mountain? Maybe, but you probably won’t survive the long journey.

Here in Kenya, it is known that sickness and accidents lead to death. There are no insurance policies or guarantees. In America, we are surrounded by policies and strategies to ensure we will be taken care of in any situation. Because we barricade ourselves with emergency systems, good hospitals, and money, we have come to believe that these are the things that protect us. In our minds, safety and protection are up to our own ability. If we can foresee every possible negative outcome and find a way to prevent it, faith and trust in God are no longer necessary. We are then filled with anxiety when we realize that we can’t cover all our bases. Financial loss, sickness, accidents, and death will happen anyway. The systems we have in place are good, but they will never replace our total reliance on the One who provides for all our needs.

The attitude of the people here is one of total reliance on God and trust in Him to provide every breath. They recognize the fragility of life, and in some ways this means they come to value each day even more. Many people I’ve met clearly recognize that this blessing of life cannot be guarded by human means, and that health and happiness is ONLY up to God, in accordance with His will. When we take on this understanding, we can begin to see our blessings of relationships, health, and material things as belonging completely to God.

Sometimes, in America, we do come to understand that God is sovereign over our health and our lives. (It’s all a part of His plan). However, we fail to acknowledge his control over our material wealth. (And not only His control, but His complete ownership.) We cringe when we hear that our wealth belongs to God. We work hard for our money and we want complete authority over it, but the bible says otherwise. We are to submit all things to God. Jesus speaks on the subject of money throughout the New Testament, and He takes a direct approach to this topic. Luke 2: 13 says “No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” In Matthew 6:21 He states that “Where you treasure is, there your heart will be also.” This does not mean that we hate everything we have been blessed with. But instead, we acknowledge these blessings as from God alone and we know that He gives and takes away. Our hope and joy are found in something much greater when we genuinely put Him first. If we live in this simplicity, with our eyes focused on Him, we will know contentment in times of prosperity as well as times of need (Phil 4:12). If we trust Him with our lives and our wealth, our anxiety about protecting against every possible outcome begins to fall away. The beauty of the situation is that what we have been blessed with becomes available to others who are in need. We can give without fear of not having enough for ourselves.

If we seek the Kingdom of God first, even before our safety and well being, everything else will fall into its particular order. If not, we will never know the freedom that trust in God will bring. It is only by the grace of God that our needs are provided for; in the same way that only by this grace will we take our next breath. 

[Event Recap]

Saw the Okongo’s cow give birth on Saturday night! Quite an experience. Caroline and I heard excessive mooing so we went outside to see what was going on. Before we knew it, neighbors were running over to help with the delivery! It really is a team effort to safely deliver the calf, give its first bath, and help it with its first meal.

David was a guest speaker at a youth rally at church on Sunday. It was such an energetic service and I love the Luo and Swahili songs.

Monday we all walked over to Akado primary school, ready to help out but not knowing what to expect. Each of us was assigned to a different class. I walked in to second grade math and the teacher just said, “Ok, we are doing addition. Teach them how.” Ha! Later in the day I even ended up teaching division to older students. Who would have ever thought I’d be teaching math? It was definitely a fun experience playing teacher for a day, and I think we are going to another school on Friday. (I’m hoping to sit in on a Kiswahili class so I can learn!)

Tuesday we went to Kisumu to run all our errands. We Americans love it because we get to go to the giant grocery store and try the foreign chocolates. The Okongos took us out to lunch at a place on Lake Victoria that serves tilapia brought over by the fishermen. It is served whole on a big platter and you eat it with your hands along with Sukuma Wiki (kale) and Ugali (a bread-like mixture of corn flour and water).  Cameron was even brave enough to try the eye (a treat!). After lunch, we went on a boat ride on Lake Victoria and even saw a hippo!

Today, we went to see a Kenyan hospital. Honestly, it was a bit better than I expected (I was prepared for the worst). But I still cannot believe how different it is than hospitals in America. Each ward is a room with 8-10 beds in it, with 1 or 2 nurses to care for the patients. We were taken to the men’s, women’s children’s and maternity wards. When the hospital is full, the patients will have to share beds with each other. Obviously, infection is easily spread when all the patients are contained in the same room. What really affected me was the way patients are transported to the hospital. While we were standing outside after our tour, a motorcycle sped up. An extremely sick person was barely conscious, gasping for breath, in between two people holding her upright on the motorcycle. Apparently she was driven quite a ways in that state. Another interesting thing was that the prices for all the services are posted in large print on the front of the hospital! Need your baby delivered? 500 shillings (equivalent to about $6). Staying in a bed overnight? 100 shillings. Very different from the prices in America! One good thing I noticed was that all medication for TB, HIV/AIDS, and Maleria is free.

Looking forward to the rest of the week as a team from North Carolina is coming to Kandaria on Saturday to construct a clinic in the village. Next week we are hoping to meet up with the team from Mt. Bethel on Friday and Saturday in a different town. Please pray for us as we are seeking guidance on what God has in store for the second month of our stay in Kenya!

Embracing the Quiet

“Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem. The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.”- Richard Foster

We’re adjusting to daily life here in Kenya. Going to sleep when its dark and waking up when the sun comes up. Taking our time with people. Learning the language. In the morning, we head down the mountain to the clinic in Sondu. We plug in our phones, ipods, cameras, and computers so they can charge. We sit at the front and greet people as they wander inside. We dispense their medications and assist David with giving shots, taking blood pressures, and examining specimens under the microscope. Usually, we have a lesson on a tropical disease where we learn how to identify and treat things like malaria or typhoid. We also try to have our bible study at a time when the clinic isn’t busy. Studying Romans has produced an array of great conversations as each of us brings our own insight to the group.

Sometimes the clinic is busy with people seeking treatment, mostly for malaria or intestinal problems, but also for asthma, bronchitis, diabetes, and injuries. However, sometimes it is quiet in the clinic and we have time to just think.  I have found myself approaching all sorts of thoughts and ideas that I would usually just push away if I was at home. I’ve realized that I rarely give myself the opportunity to just be silent. Being away from America has made me realize that we are conditioned to crave social interaction and sensory input every minute of the day. I am guilty of watching tv, texting, and using the computer all at the same time. No wonder it is so difficult for us to spend time alone with God, just soaking in the silence. It is uncomfortable for us! The world trains us to seek after these over-stimulating things until they rule over us. But all good things take time, purposeful thought, and undivided attention.

I am challenging myself to really learn to sit and be silent before God, so that my thoughts will be more in tune to His. When a quiet moment comes up, I want to automatically turn to Him instead of my computer or phone. I want to embrace these times as the chance to pray to Him about the present instead of constantly planning for the future or daydreaming about the past. If we make use of the times of quietness in this way, to connect our hearts to His, how much more alive will every moment be! I know I don’t want to let half-lived moments slip by, but if we are constantly abiding in His presence, we can be assured that this will not happen.

“So we fix our eyes on not what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” 2 Corinthians 4: 18

joy!

The women here are so accepting of us muzungus! They love to show us glimpses into their everyday lives as they teach us skills like cooking and making baskets. Every time we meet, we are greeted with huge smiles and hugs. They have even started calling us "daughters of Kandaria." I have noticed how humble they are and how freely they express joy! Hearing us attempt to speak their tribal language sends them into fits of contagious laughter every time. Many of these women live in homes made of mud and sticks. They spend their days working and doing never ending chores for their family- toting water, cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping the home clean. Still, they are some of the most joyful, patient, and generous people I have ever met. What a privilege it is to be accepted into such a beautiful community! 

New Experiences

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:18

We finally reached the Okongo's house after more than 24 hours of travelling. I was in awe that our van could even make it up the mountain. As we stepped out, I was amazed at the view and the sunset over the valley. Excitedly, we explored our new home. Cows, chickens, puppies, and sheep provided the background noise. We realized that there would be many small challenges in our everyday lives while in Kenya. Heating up water for our bucket showers, using the outhouse, sleeping under mosquito nets, washing clothes and dishes by hand, and encountering many strange insects are just a few of the new things we are learning about.

I'm so amazed and humbled by the community where we are staying. Kandaria is a rural area where people live in small houses made of mud and sticks. Narrow, rocky paths connect the houses to their local schools and churches. Navigating these paths takes time, and we stop and greet each person we meet on the way. Yesterday we had the opportunity to hike up the steep mountain behind the Okongo's house and stand on a cliff overlooking the community and Lake Victoria. I couldn't believe that people walk miles on those steep paths every day, and even farm corn on the side of the mountain.

There is pain and suffering mixed in with the beauty, and everyone has a story that would break your heart. Caring for the large number of orphans is a huge problem, because it can be such a challenge to find kind, trustworthy people (without ulterior motives) to take on the responsibility of raising these children. There is also a significant stigma associated with with being orphaned, especially by HIV/AIDS. These children are scarred by the shame and sadness society places on them. Because of their vulnerability, they are likely to be abused or mistreated by the relatives or children's homes that take them in.

Obviously, infection and sickness are big problems as well. The first day in the clinic, we saw a girl with a large wound on her leg that had become septic. David later told me that this had started as a small scratch. The life expectancy is much shorter here, and I am told that there is a funeral in Kandaria every weekend. Yesterday we visited the funeral of a woman in her late 30s who had died of an asthma attack.

There are so many needs here that it can become overwhelming. I am praying that I will be able to love those God places in my path during this trip. Trusting in His perfect timing and placement.

"If anyone serves, He should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised though Jesus Christ" 1 Peter 4:11

                                               Beautiful sunflower field near House of Hope

Skirts that Justine gave us- along with our new Luo names. Awuor (me), Apiyo (Shelley), and Atieno (Caroline).

Made it to the top of the mountain!

Three more days!

The amount of preparation that has gone into this trip is crazy to me. Since I found out about this opportunity in January, I’ve spent a ton of time thinking about it! At first, I was very unsure about giving up the possibility of a nursing externship in order to spend my summer in Kenya. I knew that an externship would help me get good experience in the hospital, and possibly help with finding a job after graduation.  At the same time, however, I found out about a friend who wanted to go to Kenya and work in a clinic for the summer.  Immediately, my heart was filled with joy and excitement at this possibility. 

Several months later, here I am, eagerly awaiting our departure.  Although I have lots of friends going to serve overseas this summer, I realize that this trip is not “normal” or “safe” by American standards. I know it will be an incredible experience, and I will learn a lot about nursing/medical missions, but the only real reason I’m going is because God has planted this desire for missions in my heart that I cannot deny. He has provided the means, the plans, and the way. I am fully relying on Him, because I know my own skills are entirely insufficient. I’m depending on God’s guidance, protection, and most of all, His presence. I have faith in a great God, whose promises for us exist even when we step out of our comfort zone.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18

“Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5: 6-7

Here We Go!

Not really sure how this blog is going to work since I'm not much of a writer! It seems to be the thing to do when you go on a mission trip though. I'm hoping to be able to write at least a few posts on here during my trip.
I read a book called The Heavenly Man during my trip to Destin last week. Seriously convicting! Brother Yun is a Chinese believer who has been tortured and imprisoned for his beliefs many times, but has also experienced incredible joy and fullness in his relationship with Jesus! His book describes all kinds of miracles including healings and prison escapes. One of his statements (directed toward the church in America)... "You can never really know the Scriptures until you're willing to be changed by them." I'm sick of picking and choosing which parts of the gospel are for me, and which parts are for others with different "callings." Ready to dive in!